Choosing The Right Partner For Life

"Love has great potential to enrich your life. But if you are just playing a role, pretending to love, it's only going to poison you. Because you are teaching yourself that it's just a game, and slowly but surely you will lose the capacity to open in love."

Well, sometimes we are just confused as to whether we really love the person or merely an attraction or just an infatuation in a blind relationship. Many have just simply taking relationship into marriage as the result of evolutionary process and social development to set a family as the value of co-operation with their partner in bringing up children and sharing in the caring for them and for each other. However, there's another side of the truth of finding the right partner and setting up a family as being a Christian.

Choosing The Right Partner For Life by Kong Kee (born 23 August 1964), the founder, honorary and volunteer senior pastor of City Harvest Church in Singapore. Brought this audion summon CD a few years back and found it enriching as it helps to deepen our understanding of ourself, relationships and people around.

Here's the content:

God's Purpose For A Family

The truth is God has not only formed male and female individuals, but He also has designed to use marriage and the family to accomplish His overall purposes. To help parents adopt God's purpose for their family and understand their key role in shaping godly children. God's blessing upon each of these couples would be shown when they would bear forth a new person that united resemblances of both the father and mother. God encouraged this process by commanding the couples to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:27,28).

Eight Types Of Relationships That Won't Work

- You care more about your partner more than he does about you for a very long period of time.
- You are in love with your partner's potential (for who you wish to be instead for who he/she is).
- You are in a rescue mission.

- You look up to your partner as a role model (and you'll find yourself loosing your own identity).
- You are in love with your partner only for the external reason.
- You and your partner are really trench or team buddy.
- You choose a partner in order to be rebellious.

- Your partner is unavailable.

Eight Fatal Flaws

- Anger
- Control freak
- Victim consciousness

- Sexual immorality
- Your partner has not grow up
- Emotional unavailable

- Those that have not recover from past relationship
- Emotionally damage from childhood

Seven Qualities To Look For In A Mate
- Commitment to personal growth (spiritually and mentally)
- Emotional openness
- Integrity
- Maturity and responsibility
- Healthy self esteem
- Positive attitude towards life
- Personal chemistry (which is most important quality despite having all the above six qualities)

Compatibility & Commitment

- Significant age difference where like more than 10 years.
- Different spiritual conviction.
- Different social ethnic and social background.
- Overbearing In-laws.
- Long distance relationship.

I always have this rescue mission in me, a natural instinct for almost every women. Trying to help, improve and change the other person to become a better person in exchange for the love that I always hunger for during my childhood. Obviously, the relationship doesnt work out most of the time cos to love someone is to love for who he/she is now and not thinking to change him/her to be someone else. The reason is simple, is a bonus if the person change for better but usually a rare cases for is hard to change someone when it has become a habitual character in him/her (Im talking about mean bad habits here). So try not to build a relationship upon fear, insecurity and pity as it will never last and will only give unhappiness and sorrow in life. If there are too many ifs, ands or buts in a relationship then sooner or later the relationship is bound to fail. Hope the above helps to lead you towards making the right decision as to choosing the right partner in life.

"A soulmate is someone who has the locks that fit our keys, an keys to fit our lock and a perfect match is the one that holds your hand as you are lowering your parents' bodies into the grave for the last time."

God bless!